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An Article By Professor Steve

Where do we draw the line between
serving others and being used by others?

Frustrated Used Parent

Where do we draw the line?

Everyone has their own agenda, their own bias, their own ideas about what is best. I have mine too. We try to help others, family, friends, the needy. Then we find our assistance being taken for granted. Where do we draw the line?

We all must live our own lives and make our own decisions, when we are ready to. Those who have traveled a similar path can guide, but no one can be made to follow. Often we can't even follow our own best intentions. How many times have we made a resolution that seemed like the right thing to do, then screwed it up soon thereafter - like sabotaging ourselves?

Who's in charge?

Where life leads us may not be where we were expecting to go. Our material world is just a framework. We fill in that framework at our own discretion, or not, if we choose. The disappointment is in finding that our conscious mind is not in charge, and it is not the one making the choices; it is our inner self, our spirit, our life itself - and not this framework that decides. Sometimes it gets very confusing.

Have you always felt you were a little different, and didn’t know quite how, or why? We are all different in some ways, and alike in others. It's our differences that make each of us special.

How am I being used?

Have you thought you were smart, then realized that what you have spent your whole life learning was only barely enough to recognize how much more there is to learn? Is it a little overwhelming?

When we feel trapped into doing things that don't give us a feeling of accomplishment, or into doing things that we feel may actually cause more harm in the long run than good, then we are being used.

What can we do about it?

If we can learn to be unexpectant guides, the example for others to follow ... only if they choose, and not because we insist, then we won't stress over whether we are serving or being used.

When we try to do what we firmly believe is right for ourselves and those we love, (whether that be to give, to receive, or to ignore,) there should be no regrets. When we do what we honestly believe is right, without expecting any 'payback' or wishing any 'should haves', serving and being used become the same thing and balance each other in a feeling of accomplishment.

What's next?

If you'd like to put yourself back in charge, to fix things on your own, you might try the software help on my Solutions page.

Or if you'd like a little help sorting things out, you may want to read more about redesigning your own future. There is a great self help book on my Solutions page. Bless you!

Professor Steve

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